The Wine Commonsewer

Four Stages of Life

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

I think this about sums it up.....

In other news, Mrs TWC is traveling this week. I was beat but the kids begged me to watch Barnyard. After we'd already made the trek down the hill to Panera Bread, Barnes & Noble, and Coldstone for a couple of hours of R&R.

Turns out to be a better movie than I expected and Sam Elliott is always a treat.

I'm in meetings the rest of the day. Not these kind of meetings.....

The modern business meeting, however, might be better compared with a funeral, in the sense that you have a gathering of people who are wearing uncomfortable clothing and would rather be somewhere else. The major difference is that most funerals have a definite purpose. Also, nothing is ever really buried in a meeting.

As Ever,

The Wine Commonsewer

tip of the glass to Charley S & Dave Barry

Exxon Pays Record Taxes

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

Speaking of Mohawk, amid the clamor surrounding Exxon's announcement of record profits of 39 billion (profits that Senator Clinton has proposed seizing for alternative energy projects), it is largely ignored that Exxon paid over 100 billion to Uncle Sugar during the same period. 2.5 times as much in taxes as they banked in profits. That's a pretty large alternative energy program. Funding gas bags in Foggy Bottom I mean.

American popular mythology holds that oil companies pay no taxes and rape the motoring public, and worse, oil company execs torch their fat Cubans with hundred dollar treasury notes.

But the truth is a little more boring.  Since 1977 taxes on oil and fuel amount to (inflation adjusted) 2.2 trillion dollars.

As Evoir,

TWC

tip of the glass to the Tax Foundation

Mowhawk Gasoline

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

And now, a word from our sponsor.

TWC has a vintage Mohawk gas pump with a similar logo in the garage that's been awaiting restoration for a long time. Originally installed in a filling station, after modernization in the 1930's the pump ended up servicing a cattle ranch just outside of Sonora Ca until the 1940's or early 1950's. 

TWC first gazed longingly at it thirty years ago and at the time it was remarkably well preserved. Unfortunately over the intervening years, the weather wasn't kind. I ended up with custody thanks to the generosity of my uncle, but by then that old thick lead based paint had begun to come off in big curled chunks that look like they dregs of a dried up mud puddle in the desert.

It looks a little like this one from the Vintage Gas Museum.

As Ever,

TWC

Billion Here Billion There and .... Pretty Soon You're Talking About Real Money

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

Got back from my hike around the mountain this A.M. (uphill, both ways) to bad news on the doorstep. Nice sunrise though.

The bold headline in the local rag was clearly visible through the plastic wrapper, no need to even bend down and pick the thing up. So I kicked it across the driveway.

Apparently Guber Schwarzzengroper's revenue projections came up  1.3 billion dollars short when the gnomes from Gringott's were done counting in the basement.

As shocking as that may seem (don't yawn now, pay attention here),  the real story isn't the shortfall. It's the 143 billion dollars that the governor has earmarked for the furnaces in Sacramento. A few of the bond guys on Wall Street have noticed that Arnie is half naked.

In addition to the uncertain tax revenue, Schwarzenegger's $143.2 billion budget relies on other risky revenue assumptions, analysts say.

No Duh.

Senator Tom McClintock explains how the Guber can claim a balanced budget.

The governor justifies his claim that the budget is balanced by concocting a new accounting concept he calls the net operating deficit. Here's how it works: To enable his claim that he is paying down debt when it is actually increasing, the governor made some pre-payments during the past two years -- akin to paying more than the minimum balance on your credit cards. But to hide the deficit he created on the other side of the ledger, he simply doesn't enter those payments in the state's checkbook.

Overall, the governor has exceeded the net deficit numbers that cost Gumbi Davis his job by a billion dollars. Worse, Schwarzzengroper's ride to the rescue on his White Horse is costing Californicate taxpayers about FORTY BILLION DOLLARS more than Gumbi's worst performance ever. How long ago was that? Just a few short years and Arnie has upped the ante by 40%.

But more taxes will solve everything.

And the fargin' roads still suck.

As Ever,

TWC

How Do You Screwcap?

Gentle Readers,

Well, first of all, TWC doesn't do screwcaps. But for those of you who insist that screwcaps are the wave of the new millennium, Sebastiani has this nice little podcast lesson to get you started on removing one of those metal contraptions with a bit of a flourish. Keep in mind it's a little tough to finesse a screw top in the same way you can work a cork, but I guess it's a start.

BTW, the jury is definitely still out on whether screw caps are really all that much better than cork. Unless you don't mind the stench of burning rubber or rotten eggs on the nose that is.

Pretty sure the podcast requires I-tunes and it's about a 6mb download.

UPDATE: KR, comments below, that TWC has been swayed by old data or has failed to research this topic. However, the linked article is very recent, within the last few weeks, in fact.

Often overlooked is the ritual that includes foil cutting and the flourish of pulling the cork. Like the cigar guy with the cutter and the stick matches, the opening rituals are all part of enjoying the wine, something that is entirely lost with screwcaps, which is specifically why Sebastiani created the linked podcast.

I've been drinking wine a long time and IMO the problem of cork taint is vastly overstated. Certainly this is merely anecdotal evidence based on my personal consumption of some eight or nine thousand bottles of wine (Hello! Calling Betty Ford!). However, it is also true that of those bottles, only a handful were corked.

That is not to discount the problems with cork, it is to say that I prefer natural cork. It is to say that I like to rag on screwcaps and synthetic cork (I also diss white wine on occasion). It's fun.

More to the point, the advocates of screwcaps and synthetic cork claim these solutions are better than they apparently are.

As Ever,

TWC

Go Bears

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

You mean the Colts don't play in Baltimore anymore? What's up with that?

Got an email from Kathryn J the other day (hey, that rhymes).

Here’s something to listen to for the next week…..I play it several times during the day, much to the chagrin of my office neighbors! It is the Chicago Symphony!

Go Bears!

 

TWC played freshman football (defensive end) just long enough to realize that football wasn't a whole lot different than I imagined Marine Corps basic training to be. Five years later that mistaken impression was pounded out of me in living color by some guy who looked a bit like Yosemite Sam in a Smoky. Turned out that the pigskin version of sweating like a pig was altogether a more pleasant experience. Even with a grass allergy.

A bunch of us skinny teens played most winter Sunday afternoons. Key word here is played. Organized football is all about work, drill, and shoving that stupid blocking sled around the field with your shoulder while the coach screams obscenities.  Sand lot? Show up and play. Barefoot if you want. An exhausting three hours later you snaffle up a couple of burgers and a large Coke, then head home for supper.

As Ever,

The Wine Commonsewer

tip of the glass to Kathryn J.

Groundhog Predicts Global Warming

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

Today is Groundhog Day and some claim that vile groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, has been ahead of the curve on forecasting (gasp) global warming.

My local rag and Yahoo's top story of the day is that global warming can't be stopped. Must be so, I heard on Yahoo and they were able to find at least one scientist in each of 113 countries to verify it. Apparently the other 85 some odd countries either don't have scientists or they don't care.

Let's get the California citrus industry on the phone for a second opinion. You know. The guys that had all their assets flash frozen a couple of weeks ago. Actually, maybe you could come out and take a look at my bougainvillea.

The Upside? A warmer climate means more land available for vineyards. See that lake? It used to be a glacier.

In Related News, according to tradition, if a groundhog comes out of its hole on this day and sees its shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter weather; no shadow means an early spring.

Groundhogs actually come out of hibernation about now looking for a mate, they then disappear underground for another six weeks or so, doing, well, what comes natural. Making more groundhogs.

We Report, You Decipher.

As Ever,

TWC

tip of the glass to Ron Bailey, Ken, & Brian P

Virtual Restriction

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

I can tell it's a brave new world because last night my son had three different friends (one may have been his cousin) on speakerphone. Juggling the home phone and his cell phone while manipulating call holding, the lot of them argued into the evening about the relative merits of Black Armor and enchanted battle staffs. They cut deals for battle axes, scimitars, and Mithril weapons while navigating a Tolkien-style netherworld of adventure where you can even buy a half jug of wine. I'm still not clear on the advantage of slaying a Runescape cow though.

And then, while he dawdles downstairs this morning........

Jacob! If we have to chase the school bus you're losing an hour of Runescape.

Kind of sounds a little like pop psychobabble, like a time-out instead of a quick swat on the butt or a long walk to the hypothetical woodshed of yore. However, it's currently the best weapon at my disposal, virtual or otherwise. And it keeps him out of the bars.

As Ever,

TWC