The Wine Commonsewer

Pomegranates

Gentle Readers,

This year That Boy listened to his dad and let the pomegranates ripen on the tree before he picked them all.

Patience is a virtue.

What are they good for?

Although almost as difficult to eat as an artichoke, the seeds are delicious.

UPDATE: I ate an entire pomegranate this afternoon. It wasn't nearly as difficult as eating an artichoke. Mess? Si! Noisy? Si! Yummy? Si! Don't get the juice on a white shirt, Dude. Worse than red wine. 

Pomegranate juice drizzled into the finished drink is what puts the sunrise in a Tequila Sunrise. Pomegranate juice defines a good Singapore Sling. Oprah makes an excellent pomegranate martini. King Solomon made spiced pomegranate wine. The Jewish culture holds that the 613 seeds found in a pomegranate represent the 613 commandments of the Torah. 

And, get this: It is more than likely that Eve was offered a pomegranate from the Tree of Life by the serpent. Scoff if you will, but apples don't grow that well in Mediterranean climates.    

As Ever,

TWC

For the Blessings of the Garden We Give Thanks to.....

.....The cats. And to the dogs, who protect and keep the cats.

Without whom this bounty would have have been stillborn, consumed by every manner of varmint known to mankind. It is truly a wonder that our forebears were able to survive a week. Eating veggies still warm from the afternoon sun is a luxury.

Easy to make:

• In a cast iron frying pan dribble some olive oil
• Slice yellow crook neck squash in half
• Scoop out the seeds and discard
• Slice bite-size pieces thinly
• Same story for the zucchini
• Slice the onion on an angle (red onion works nicely too)
• Dice a couple of cloves of garlic
• Sprinkle with cayenne pepper to taste
• Add sea salt for crunch and taste
• Saute over medium heat until done to perfection (crispy not soggy)

Serve with mesquite grilled Porterhouse steaks (T-Bone if you're from the mid-west) and roasted corn. My dad loved T-Bone. Uncle Carl was a fan of Porterhouse.

Serve with good red wine.....

Sunset.....

Perfect.

As Ever,

TWC

Banana Smoothies

Gentle Readers,

My kids love banana smoothies and they are really easy to make. Just made some in fact.

• One Rotten Very Ripe Banana
• Fill the Blender Half Full of Milk (2% or whole)
• One Tablespoon Sugar (we use Splenda)
• One or Two Drops of Vanilla
• Ice To Suit (or not)

Blend until done. Pour into cool glasses (or tupperware).

For a treat, a little dollop of whipped cream on top.

I'm having Grape Smoothies. In cool glasses.

As Ever,

TWC

Then, unexpectedly, the Grey Kitty shows up during filming:

Free Up Memory The Easy Way

Gentle Readers,

One of my computers runs Business Vista 64 bit. It's pretty stable, comparatively, but one significant shortcoming is that there aren't any drivers available for things like my high-dollar high speed scanner and no Flash drivers for my free Firefox browser, Minefield, which was written for 64 bit Vista. YouTube? Don't bother.

Aside from being nannied to death by Bill Gates, the big problem is that Vista is sluggish. It sucks memory like chrome off of a doorknob trailer hitch ball. Truly, I am hard on computers, which compounds the problem. While in the midst of a cursing tantrum in which I suggested that neither my computer nor Bill Gates were sure of their daddy's name, I ran across a pretty cool little fix that helps resolve the sluggishness.

Goes like this:

• Create a new desktop shortcut (use the shortcut wizard)
• Paste this into the line asking for the location:

%windir%\system32\rundll32.exe advapi32.dll,ProcessIdleTasks

• Click Next and then name your application (I used Clear Memory)
• Click Finish and your done.
• Right click the Icon and run it as the Administrator

It takes about thirty seconds to run and the results are astonishing. At least on my machine. Not as dramatic on my XP machine or on Mrs TWC's machine, but still noticeable. Yes, I said XP, the fix works on XP as well.

You could even set up a wizard to run the program every thirty minutes or so.

Whole thing with detailed instructions here.

As Ever,

TWC

Franken Food

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

Ran across Franken-Pepper last summer, sliced it open and , voila!

Like a bad propaganda tract from  the Rifkin crowd, this cancer-like growth appears to be part of the yellow pepper's vast internal struggle to return to its genetic roots, which are green. Course that's the stuff of alarmists and sci-fi thrillers.

Most store-bought yellow and red bell peppers are hybrids, manipulated for color. That's why the flavor is nearly identical to a traditional green bell pepper.

Vine ripened bell peppers naturally change color the longer they are left on the plant. Green mellows to orangish, which evolves into a reddish color, and finally a rosy sort of eggplant purple. At each stage the flavor is a bit different, becoming better as the pepper ages.

Am I against GM foods? I guess not, since everything we eat is genetically modified. We're just better at it than we used to be. No? Think about the last time you saw a milk cow in the wild.

As Ever,

TWC

Adding RSS Feeds to Outlook 2007

Gentle Readers,

This is the stuff that makes me crazy.

I want to add an RSS feed to Outlook 2007 because that's where all my fan mail is consolidated. Actually, it don't matter why, I just want it there. For you-know-what and giggles.

Easy Cheezy as my House Blond would say. Except it ain't. You'd think it would be a simple copy and paste into the little popup dialog box in Outlook. You'd be wrong.

Eight years into the New Millenium and you have to type the feed info into the box by hand. Which means a convoluted effort with a fair chance of transposing a digit.

Or, you could spend fifteen to thirty minutes and learn that if you type CONTROL + V at the same time, you can paste the feed into the dialog box.

Control + V?

That's pretty intuitive.

As Ever,

TWC

ION USB Turntable Review

Gentle Readers,

Finally got a chance to fiddle with my hi-tech Christmas gift, which instantly transported TWC to De Javu-land. Not the records, but the turntable itself. Things like anti-skip, cartridge, platter, and grams of pressure adjustments. Flash to the Stone Age, and I was humming along, putting stuff together like I knew what I was doing. Just like adjusting the fuel mixture on a Holley carburetor. Okay, maybe more like riding a bike. You don't forget how.

The House Blond took an immediate interest in the ten inch records with their colorful jackets. She spent a long time admiring the album art and reading the song titles. Jacob thought the turntable itself was eminently cool even though it looked as foreign to him as something out of a Star Wars picture. This is cool, Dad. What's it do? [immediately starts pushing buttons and touching everything] Katie wanted to know if she could do that rapper thing with the tone arm.

First impression:  Although the ION USB turntable is cool, it isn't as well made or as solid as my still-functional Fisher (circa 1982). Except for that USB part that is. The ION doesn't come with a lid or a dust cover, the platter isn't close to as heavy or substantial, and I'm pretty sure the Fisher is direct drive. That ain't a big problem though because the sole mission is to get the vinyl into digital format.

Software: The ION comes with two programs. EZ Vinyl Converter, which worked fine except for the rhythmic clicking in the speakers (not evident on the recorded product). EZ Vinyl is a no frills conversion program that is easy to use and gets right to the point. Audacity is a powerful program that allows people with no life to spend hours and hours tweaking their antique record collection into something vaguely resembling the quality of a modern CD or MP3.  It has a big learning curve and I'm lazy. Or maybe it just doesn't work well with 64 bit Business Vista.

UPDATE:

The Audacity program works fine with 64 bit Business Vista, in fact, it does a great job. The key is understanding the program and setting the preferences.

Secondly, adjusting the gain settings on the turntable to minimum reduces distortion and background noise to a minimum. The gain control is right next to where you plug the USB line into the turntable.

Reality:  I was absolutely stunned at the awful condition of some of my albums. Snap, Crackle, & Pop. Hiss and campfire. Skips and stucks. Ghastly. Sounded like I was using a nail rather than a needle. You can clearly hear the campfire in this old Stones sample from Out of Our Heads. It's my understanding that a patient man can clean that up using the Audacity program.

Most of the really old stuff was virtually unplayable and rendered ever so much more awful by comparison to modern technological advances. Newer albums fared better, in part, because they were purchased, immediately recorded onto reel-to-reel tape, and then put away for posterity. Wish I'd kept those tapes. The Go Go's is a newer record and didn't get as much play as the Stones. Predictably, the sound is much better. I know, what self-respecting guy admits owning a Go Go's record?

Two surprises: I don't have as many albums as I remembered and many of the records I have enjoyed over the years I've already replaced with CD's and MP3's.

All that notwithstanding, it's a worthwhile investment for us fossilized throwbacks to another era. If your vinyl is in halfway decent condition, the plain vanilla format of the EZ Vinyl software is going do a quick and painless conversion of your records to MP3's.

As Ever,

TWC

A Simple Turkey Brine

Gentle Readers,

A little late for this, you should have begun already. Or, you can trot it out come Christmas. 

For the uninitiated, brining a turkey ensures a moist delicious bird even if your oven is unforgiving or your smoker tends to dry the turkey.

You'll need a big pot or other container. It has to be non-reactive, meaning plastic, glass, or stainless. Don't use cast iron or aluminum.

• Bring l.5 gallons of water to a gentle boil
• Add 1.5 cups of kosher salt
• Add 1.5 cups brown sugar
• Add 1/8 to 1/4 cup thyme leaves (fresh is best)
• Boil long enough to dissolve salt and sugar
• Stir occasionally

Allow the mixture to cool to room temp (you don't want to prematurely cook the turkey). Once cooled, put the turkey in the pot and fill the pot with the cooled brine mixture. Cover the turkey completely, cover the pot with foil or a lid, stick it in the fridge until Thanksgiving. 24 hours of brining is sufficient.

When you're ready to cook, rinse the turkey, discard the brine, and you are on your way to a succulent main dish.

FAQ

• The turkey does not taste sweet or salty
• Season as you would normally
• Cook normally
• The turkey will not be watery
• This brine does not impart much flavor to the turkey
• If the brine doesn't completely cover the turkey add more water

Done correctly, your turkey should look like this:

As Ever,

TWC

Best Grill Brush Ever

Gentle Readers,

As you know, Real Men do not cook on propane grills. We use Henry Ford's charcoal, or better yet, perk up a fire using mesquite, oak, or hickory and then allow it to burn down to hot coals in order to sear our favorite steaks.

And you terrorist sympathizers that insist on cooking with propane (boat guys are excepted) I must ask: Why do you hate America and what it stands for? But I digress, and rest assured, this baby has a place even with the Hank Hill crowd. UPDATE: Hank Hill works for Strickland Propane and is mighty proud of it (got some emails asking).

It's a 21" long handled grill cleaner by, who else? Weber. For ten bucks US, you get the best, hands down bar none, grill cleaner on the planet. Buy one. Today.

Most grill brushes are too short and scorch your hand when giving the hot grill a good scrub before cooking. The long handled wood brushes all have the wrong angle, which causes the front of the brush to quickly wear off. The Weber is long handled stainless (maybe galvanized) wire with a composite handle, a brass brush, and can be tilted to any angle. The design allows for good cleaning between the ribs of the grill, in the corners, and it even works well on the round grills found on Weber kettles.

Buy one at Sears or at ARC.

As Ever,

The Wine Commonsewer

How Computers Work

Gentle Readers,

Next time you're screaming obscenities at Microsoft stop and think how much easier your life would be if you fully understood how computers actually work.

As Ever,

TWC

tip of the glass to Charlie