Gentle Readers,
Our Eulogy today comes courtesy of Guest Blogger, the Kosmik Kid.
UPDATE: Kos estimates 2,500 bottles of wine were opened by this fine corkscrew, a number TWC estimates to be on the shy side, an average of a mere 4.81 bottles per week.
All good things must come to an end. Mr. Giftie was our dear friend and trusty servant, who passed away suddenly last night, but not before successfully removing one last cork that stood in the way of la joie de vie.
Mr. Giftie came into our lives on our wedding day, April 28th, 1996, a present from our dear friends Mr & Mrs TWC. He immediately charmed us with his decorking abilities, which he demonstrated several times that night, with his lady friends, Cabbie Nae, Peanut, and Zinnie the Red. For 10 brief years and a few months he stayed with us, quietly residing in his special box in the microwave cart drawer. But he never failed to serve us when called out for special dinners, parties, and celebrations.
Alas, his final tryst -- er, twist -- resulted in a mortal wound, as you can see. He lies in state as I write this. We haven't decided yet how to properly honor his remains; we're torn between donating the body to a viticulture museum, or melting it down and using it in the reloader. (Sigh)
Condolences may be emailed in care of TWC. Please help honor his memory by donating to the fine establishments that nurture Cabbie and her friends, or to your favorite libertarian organization.
Thank you,
The Kosmik Kid
TWC Note: The photo doesn’t do it justice, this corkscrew was massive, a nice hefty well crafted implement that any or all of us would be proud to own. The Wine Commonsewer is truly sorry to hear of its demise.
TWC has donated over $100.00 to the Barstow Home for Incurable Furniture in Mr Giftie’s name.
Photo Credit (unless otherwise noted): ©TWC, all rights reserved
