The Wine Commonsewer™

American Idol's Amanda

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

Miles is two and connected to the House Blond because he is Hailey's dinky little brother. Hailey and Katie are fast friends and play basketball together. Miles is also connected to That Boy of mine because he thinks Jake is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Turns out that, instead of telling the kid he draws flies, Jake has taken him under his wing. It goes to character I suspect.

As a bonus, Hailey sort of hangs on every word out of Jake's mouth, finding him ever-so-amusing, but that is a tale for another day and I'm not convinced that anybody that age is entirely cognizant of what is really happening. Can you spell a semi-derivative of changing H-O-R-M-O-N-E-S?

As an aside, I keep wanting to ask Ty and Michelle if Miles is named for Miles Davis, but about halfway through the second glass of wine it has slipped my mind entirely.

So Miles is watching Idol with his family and Amanda comes on singing, of all things, Kansas? She shoulda stuck with Janis or Jim. Anyway, Miles shouts out:

CRUELLA DEVILLE!

No vid? Look here.

No time for the video?

Miles & I rest our case.

In other news: I'm pretty sure Brooke White was a dental hygienist in another life.

And every nine year old girl (including The House Blond & Hailey) is a David Enchilada fan.

As Ever,

TWC

Mark Twain on TAXidermy

What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

History Stands Athwart William F Buckley and Yells: Stop!

Gentle Readers,

William F Buckley died of emphysema last night. Or so they say. I suspect it was actually a broken heart brought on by the death last April of his wife, Pat.

Somewhere in my vast archives is a photo of a young TWC (wearing a hideous plaid sport coat and a tie the color of Homer Simpson) shaking hands with Buckley. It was snapped by Larry Samuels at the Huntington Sheraton Hotel in Pasadena back in the late Cretaceous.

Godspeed.

UPDATE: Vintage Buckley:

As Ever,

TWC

No video? Click here.

tip of the glass to Rick B for the video link

Yellow Tail's Sink Pourin' Cabernet/Shiraz Two Thumbs Down

Gentle Readers,

Open letter to Yellow Tail from Guest Blogger Joe B of Ma:

Your Cabernet-Shiraz is so awful that I poured 4/5 of a bottle down the drain in order to get the bottle stopper (TWC Note: Bottle Stopper? I know, I don't get that part either, but I don't think it matters). Seriously, it's dreadful. It has a grapey flavor, no depth whatsoever, and a nasty aftertaste.

I paid something like $8.00 American (I'm an American, but you can probably tell that already), and I feel like I got ripped off.

Your Shiraz is quite nice. I'd get a 150 ml bottle to open up with my friends. And the Chardonnay - not all Australian labels can pull off a good, quenching, enjoyable Chardonnay. The wife and I drink it on the front porch in the summer. Maybe you should replant your Cabernet Sauvignon vineyards with Shiraz. Or Chardonnay. That would be a good idea.

TWC Note: Joe drinks Chardonnay with his wife on the front porch because he knows that: LIPS THAT TOUCH WHITE WINE SHALL NEVER TOUCH MINE. Certainly a relief to both he and his missus.

Honest to God, I have never written a message to complain about a wine before. I'm not that sort of person. It's just that this wine is so absolutely awful that I was motivated to write this message.

So, you'll keep getting my money, but Good Lord! Not for anything with your Cabernet.

Joe B
Lowell, Massachusetts

Blossom Hill Cabernet Wine Storage & Serving

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

Mr SASOB asks......

Speaking of cabernet sauvignon, it just so happens that I have a bottle from the Blossom Hill Winery, vintage 1996, that I've been meaning to ask you about. It also just so happens that wine is one of those subjects that Smartass SOB is not quite so smart about. What can you tell me about it? I've been keeping it unopened in a fridge for several years since it was given to me. Should I not do that? Should it be served chilled or at room temperature? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

The wine is fine in the fridge although refrigerator temps are too cold for most red wines. That is better than being too hot, however. All wines should be stored lying down so the cork stays wet. That generally means the bottom of the bottle should be slightly elevated and most wine racks are designed to do just that. If your bottle has been standing up in the fridge for several years it is quite possible the cork has dried out enough that the wine may be spoiled. Keep in mind that refrigerators typically have low humidity.

Blossom Hill wines are produced from the old Almaden vineyards and are cousins to BV Coastal and Sterling, which doesn't mean much as far as how good the wine will taste.

Blossom Hill is an every day drinking wine and was never intended for long term aging. However, it may have benefited some from a decade spent in the bottle (Lord knows TWC has benefited tremendously from a decade spent in the bottle). OTOH, it may well be past its prime. Even if it's not, you probably want to serve it sooner rather than later.

Serve this Cabernet, and most reds, at room temperature, which is really cellar temperature, which is really about 55 degrees or so. More on that here. The Blossom Hill, in particular, will be better at a cooler temperature.

Let me know how it was.

As Ever,

TWC

Check The Status of Your Refund

Gentle Readers,

The Internal Revenue Service provides a website where you can check the status of the fat refund that came courtesy of our handy box of extra sharp Number 2 Ticonderogas.

You'll need three things:

• Your Social Security Number
• Your Filing Status (married joint, single, etc)
• Your Exact Refund Amount

Allow two or three weeks for processing before you check.

Selected state information:

• Californicate Tax Refund Status
• Colorado Tax Refund Status
• Delaware Tax Refund Status
• Idaho Tax Refund Status
• Maryland Tax Refund Status
• Minnesota Tax Refund Status
• North Carolina Tax Refund Status
• Ohio Tax Refund Status
• Oregon Tax Refund Status
• Pennsylvania Tax Refund Status
• Utah Tax Refund Status

Not all states offer refund tracking online.

As Ever,

TWC

Happy Birthday George

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

If I remember my grade school lessons, today marks the birth of the Father of our Country. Not sure if that's old calendar or new calendar, or if its been adjusted to compensate, or if it really happened on President's Day, or even if February 22 is the correct day, but I think it might be.

When we were kids we used to call those bills Skeleton Key Dollars. They were still in circulation, but the ones that were in lieu of a silver dollar were pretty rare. Silver Certificates, not so much. Then one day, they were all gone.

George had this to say about guns......

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.

Except these days, the government has all the really cool tanks and the good stuff that can light you up like David Koresch on a windy day in Waco.

Well, that comment ought to be good for a black helicopter fly-by later today. Being on the side of the hill and all, we can look right out our windows at 'em when they come see what kinda crazies live here.

UPDATE:

Told ya.

As Ever,

TWC

Dave Barry on Tax Prep

It's tax time. I know this because I'm staring at documents that make no sense to me, no matter how many beers I drink.

She Shoots, She Scores

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

Well, Chick Hearn wasn't calling the game, and nobody was faked into the popcorn machine. But, it was an exciting game, one of the best all season, and....Swish....the House Blond sinks a perfect shot.

She's the midget, number 23.

Katie's team, The Fever (in blue), is all 4th graders in a league of 4th-6th graders that was supposed to allocate the talent equally. At one point during the game the other team just made an overhead cage out of outstretched arms to block Katie from shooting. That might not even be legal.

The girls lost a heartbreaker by one.

As Always,

The Wine Commonsewer

Will Rogers On Income Tax

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.